Just so you know, today I was in the car with my teenage son and we were listening to talk radio, because I’m a junkie for it. And a caller wanted to know if she should intervene at school because someone took her son’s tennis shoe in gym class and it can’t be found and he needs a new pair. The host told her to let her son fight his own battle because he’ll come off looking like a bigger weenie if “his mommy” comes to school to protect him.
I turned to my son and asked him what he would want me to do if such a situation happened to him. He said that he would expect me to have the gym teacher’s head on a plate the next day and barring that, a check from the offending boy’s parents for the new shoes.
I asked him if the host was right and the other kids would view him as a “weenie” for having his mommy come to the school and raise Caine.
He told me that he really doesn’t care what other people think of him. He knows who he is and what he believes and the rest can go rot.
It reminded me of the day when his older sibling told me that she “didn’t give a fish” for what people thought of her. I was quite proud of her not giving a fish except I soon learned that it extended to not noticing when other people needed fish.
I have to admit that I’m not the best example. I have a tendency to overlook when people need a shoulder to lean on. My attention is best got with a clue by four.
Still, when I do notice people that need to have a fish or even think they need a fish, I try to share. (The exception of course being people who take the fish I give them and smack me with it).
But back on subject, I have 2 wonderful kids who do not give a fish what others think about them, they have character and abide by it. And they share fish when they have it to give.
Definite proud mom moment….

My youngest had his Halloween parade yesterday. I used to make creative costumes, amazing what you can do with a pair of sweats. My youngest just rummaged through DH’s old military gear, came up with a shirt, a helmet and a harness. Dad offered to cami his face but it was turned down.
The video camera battery was dead so it didn’t get recorded. Yep, all the videotapes are of the oldest. Not even the middle one gets as much video time as she did. Sorry boys, it’s what happens when you have a slacker for a mom…

With a bit of a Halloween theme, a speaker on the Reformation was in town this week and he gave a radio interview on the changing attitudes in Christianity on the dead. One of Martin Luther’s complaints with the Catholic Church was the collection of money to ease the passage of the dead. Now they weren’t the first to come up with easing the afterlife of the dead, just look at what was buried in the tombs of the Egyptians and the Chinese. What dead person really needs an army? And the Japanese and many African cultures feed their dead. There are even some African cultures that every few years, take the dead out of the crypts, re-dress the bodies and then party with them, including dancing with the newly attired corpses (I read about it in the Wall Street Journal a few days ago).
Anyway, back to the speaker and his point, he mentioned that the reformers taught that the ghosts people saw in those days were not the actual spirits of their deceased loved ones but were demons masquerading in the faces and voices of those we loved. That got me thinking. What if they were right? What if the apparitions and voices that we see today are demons trying to fool us? What if when you die, a loving God provides a guide to help you get to where your next destination is?
But then the question is: are you so busy in the afterlife that you never get to come back and visit? Maybe you are so happy that you have no desire to come back and visit. Maybe, part of that lake of fire and brimstone and eternal torment mentioned in the Old Testament is not being able to come back and visit.
However, there are too many cultures with too much folklore of the dead watching over the living for it not to be an eternal truth. I learned long ago that truth is where you find in and your heart knows what is true and what isn’t.

My heart tells me though that people do live after they die and they can come back to visit. I’ve felt loved one’s presences in holy places during times when I needed them. I know that my great-grandmothers watch over me just as their ancestors did for them and that after this life; I’m expected to do the same for my descendents. I know it sounds odd to a lot of folks that I know this about me and my family but I believe in eternal family bonds. I believe that love and connections to those we care about extend beyond this life and through eternity.

Not enough water + Too much Halloween chocolate = One big headache!

It’s great to have someone you love and respect come into your city and tell you how much they love it. I love taking people shop hopping and showing off my town. There are great places to eat, wonderful niche shops that larger cities just don’t have the market to hold because they’re too busy one upping each other to enjoy simple things I love like stitching, quilting, hand-dipped chocolate, knitting, and home crafts.

It’s also flooring to go to someplace else that you like and have them praise a shop that you think is garbage? I usually don’t go to the Craft Center because they are rude and overpriced. But the lady working the counter at Stitcher’s Paradise, which wasn’t Nancy or Deann, kept gushing about how much she loves to go to Craft Center when she is up in Utah. I was good and didn’t ask her why she didn’t go to Stitchin’ Station. Anyway, I got Just Nan’s Horrified and the silks to do it while I was in Vegas this week.

I was reading a back issue of the Wall Street Journal today and the article that really snagged me was the necessity of recess in an elementary day. Then I log on to Yahoo to grab my mail and I find this.

All I can say is I feel vindicated. For years I’ve been decrying the “power-mommy:” The woman who has every minute of her toddler’s day planned so that he can get into Harvard at 16. I myself am a slacker mom. I don’t schedule my kids’ days. I try to schedule my own days but that’s the topic for another blog (more like a work rant). My kids do participate in activities. The one who just had foot surgery didn’t run cross country in the last meet but he did make it to piano lessons today. And he’ll be at trumpet tomorrow which is right after his younger brother has reading tutoring. So yes, I’m back to school myself in the age when most mothers live in the car. But although there are times when I feel overscheduled, I work to make sure my kids are not. Two music lessons and one sports activity is my threshold, unless they can transport themselves. Academic activities are another ball game though. This month we start academic games and my youngest starts CyberCorps. I’m still trying to figure out what CyberCorps is but it’s sponsored by the school, they only chose three 5th graders to participate and my youngest who used to hate school now wants to get there early, something about pod-casting and making movies on the computer. Children will let you know when they are overscheduled. They get tired, cranky, and just plain stubborn. I worry about those kids who don’t ever learn how to play without adult supervision. I had a good friend who watched some nieces and nephews. She has almost an acre of open land, perfect for exploring, running and being creative in. The poor overscheduled dears sat on her back porch and whined for their gameboys; no concept of tag, hide-and-seek, or other games that I grew up with. Of course, I can’t imagine the neighborhood reaction to the games that DH played in his neighborhood. They had an empty muddy lot next to his house, the Vietnam war was on TV every night, you can just imagine the excavations the kids did in that lot. He said it all stopped the day there was a cave-in and they all had to hurry and dig out one of the other boys. It would have been fine if one of the girls hadn’t tattled. Can you imagine the lawsuit that would result today from that kind of play?
Not just the danger of excavating but they were all playing soldiers with sticks for guns!
I think that not only do our kids need more unstructured time but we as parents need to unwind, relax and let kids live and do things. To quote Confessions of a Slacker Mom if you haven’t been to the ER by the time they’re eight, you’re overprotective.”

The doctor finally agreed to permanently remove his ingrown toenails. DS#1 was convinced that he would be running in the district regional today. He’s actually home from school because it’s hurt to stand up when he woke to get ready for school. What convinced the doctor to listen to DH was that DS#1 is down to 1.5 months between infections. You just gotta love when your teenage son asks if he can go to the doctor because his toes are infected again.
DH asked to see them so the limber kid puts his foot on the table and says, “See?” He then presses down on his toenail and pus squirts across the table.
DH asks,
“Doesn’t that hurt?”
“No, not really. Only when I run”
They both left me to wipe up the mess and make the appointment. Hopefully, this was a permanent solution to a frequent problem.

I’m looking for people who play either online group games or single internet games. I need help with a survey for school. The marketing survey is available at

www.shondratasha.com/survey.doc

I don’t know how it happens. Each Netflix disk comes with a single mailback envelope. I mail back each disk in the envelope yet every week it seems I find more and more empty Netflix mailers. Right now, I have a stack of 5 but two weeks ago there were only three. Unless they’re breeding it doesn’t make sense. I’ll admit when I started with the service, I would put two in a mailer to send back but I stopped doing that after someone told me it’s the easiest way for the movies to break. At that time, I threw away all the extra mailers because I was going to do the one per envelope and I wouldn’t need the extras. Yet today, when I was cleaning out the stereo case, there they were: 5 Netflix mailers. I have no clue where they came from since we haven’t lost any disks and every one has been mailed back singly. I know that someone once posited that lost socks turned into wire hangers since there were never socks but lots of wire hangers in the laundry room although she knew her kids would never take hangers from the closet to where the clothes were. I’ve always known that staples were just paperclips in embryo and removing staples guaranteed a plethora of paper clips on one’s desk.
But Netflix mailers – what are they transforming from? I don’t appear to be missing anything from the video cabinet unless you count the silly advertisements for class B and C movies that come with the movies you purchase. If I purchased National Treasure why would I want to buy some movie I’ve never heard of with a guy who sort of looks like Nicholas Cage and probably can’t act.
(As an aside, did anyone else see the interview with Ashton Kutcher where he’s so in awe of Kevin Costner that he said, “It’s a movie about mentoring, I didn’t really have to act since I was living it.” If he’s still that in awe of fame, what does it say about his marriage?)
Anyway, I can’t recall putting those “buy the bad movies we distribute” flyers in the garbage. I usually leave them in the case with the DVD they came with but lately, I haven’t been seeing them. So, either someone else in the house has been tossing them in the garbage (major improbability there) or they’re morphing into the Netflix mailers. I’ll have to keep a closer eye on the Disney ads when I get a copy of the movie that DS#1 still has never seen all the way through. Have I ever mentioned one should vary the music used to put an infant to sleep especially if you use movie soundtracks? Pavlov was correct.

I’m sorry that I’m not posting as often as I used to. There is still a ton going on in my life, just not much time to talk about it. I finished up the Communications and Organizational Behavior class. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything that made me look at and question my actions so much. Unfortunately it also did a number on my self respect and I’m just coming back from the realization that I undervalue myself more than other people do. The big secret – – Other people do not notice the stupid stuff I do as often as I notice it. Often, they don’t even see it as stupid.

And this year, I have sweet chili sauce (and I got to watch my sib’s fight over the extra jars I brought to my parents before they left town). I also have 2.5 gallons of white grape juice concentrate. Although I have no clue what to do with it besides use it as punch base. Suggestions would be nice.

School is in session for the kids and in a weird reversal DS#2 is doing very well and DS#1 can’t seem to remember where his homework is.