I hate shopping for clothes, so I don’t do it much if I can avoid it. If I had the money, I would do all my clothes bespoke because nothing fits, or looks good on me.

I know there is childhood trauma behind my dislike of bra shopping and I’ve blogged about that before. I’ve complained about my inability to find jeans that fit but this time around, I’m looking for business clothes.

My new position at work means that I need banker clothes again. Sad thing is that I don’t fit into my old banker clothes. Those classic pieces that are still in style? I’ve put on 12 pounds since I last wore them for work. While I’m working on losing that 12 pounds, I need something to wear. So I’ve been wandering into Kohls, Dress Barn and other stores looking for dress pants, skirts and nice tops.

What happened to dress pants in the last five years? I can’t find a pair without a yoga style or elastic waist. If I tuck in a shirt they look like crap, not to mention the way they keep sliding down my butt. I know my butt is bigger than it used to be but really! What happened to zippers, snaps and belt loops?

Also, can I please have a pair of jeans without Lycra or Spandex? I would like a pair of denim jeans, again with buttons, snaps or zippers. I can live with the low rise jeans but please let me zip or button them closed.

And I would like sleeves in my shirts too. It seems everything I’m finding is tank style or has cuts in the sleeves so they might as well be sleeveless. And the material – I would like to put on a T-shirt and not have everyone see the color of my bra underneath. I’m beginning to see why people still do the 90’s layering thing, it’s so you don’t see their nipples.

For a while I thought it might be the stores I’m shopping in, so I popped into Nordstroms. Guess what? Same crap, higher prices. I’ve come to the conclusion though that I must be shopping in the wrong places so I’m going to start asking people who are wearing the styles I’m looking for where they shop. After all, someone must still have clothes I can wear out there somewhere.