Have I told you I married above me?

Waking up on a Sunday morning to find no running water isn’t enjoyable, even less enjoyable when it’s the first morning in awhile that getting out of bed is even an option. Luckily, I have a husband that knows what to do. As I’m watching the plumber’s van drive along the street, I’m grateful that my husband already had the boys working on the frozen valve (the one from the main to the outside tap which passes outside the insulation) with a blow-dryer and boiling water. The boiling water came from a bottle in the water storage so the boys had eaten oatmeal before working with their dad. He had both boys take credit for their work in the appropriate scouting books and we made it to church albeit not quite on time.
During my stint in the church library, I had time to think about how grateful I am to have my husband. As I listen to neighbors talk about the estimates to repair the pipes and insulation in their homes, I know that we’ll be doing it as a family and the only cost will be supplies which aren’t that expensive. I’ve been even more appreciative of the man I married this week as I’ve been down with the flu. He’s pampered and cosseted me; making me as comfortable as one can be when nothing will stay in the system (on the good side, I’m down 5.5 pounds). He’s run all the errands, fielded my phone calls, found the best things to keep me hydrated and to reintroduce solid foods to me (Wakame soup is fantastic when I’m sick but sometimes hard to find).
I look at this incredible man and realize that my family still talks about my marrying beneath me. See, this fantastic man who takes care of me and our children came from a blue collar background (although if the legal system hadn’t let Standard Oil stall and instead made them pay for the dirty tricks it pulled to bankrupt independent gas station owners during the 1970’s his family would have had more money than my family ever did). He served in the military which wasn’t very popular in the 1980’s when we met and his family’s business (and a LD condition) interfered with him getting a college diploma even though my family gave him two years of college tuition as a wedding present. He doesn’t have a traditional career path but he’s always managed to make sure that we never got into financial trouble. Our debts have never exceeded out assets or our ability to pay. An artist’s income is sporadic, but we’ve always had enough for our needs. So we don’t have the frequent flyer miles to go to Finland, or Boston, or Texas. We’ve always had a family vacation somewhere with the kids every year, even if it’s just camping in the mountains. Our oldest is in college with scholarships and grants and has a 3.6 GPA. The other children are doing fine; they have good friends, they have independent personalities and they know who they are and where they’re going. We are a functional family in an age of dysfunction. I just wish that mattered more to my family than some of the shallow measurements that I heard during the holiday season. If anything, I married above me. I married someone who has all the caring, compassion, and sensitivity that I lack. He has all the traits that really matter in life, traits that I desperately need to improve on.

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1 Comment

  1. Arthemise

     /  January 15, 2007

    It sounds like you have a wonderful husband. I just can’t understand people who value someone based on money or heritage or whatever. I guess that comes from growing up Cajun and in an area where no one had much! I also have a wonderful husband, and let me tell you, I value him more than anything in this world. He doesn’t have a college degree, but he’s the most intelligent person I know. I’ve been in a bad marriage, and it’s night and day. Good for you for realizing what you’ve got and sticking up for him.

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